Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
