We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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