my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
