If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?