how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
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nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
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My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.