Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows

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  (925): I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows http://tfl.nu/02lq
  Replies (9) Good night (4078) Bad night (881)
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  (315): View more from New York

  thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.

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  (315): thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often. http://tfl.nu/bjyl
  Replies (25) Good night (3523) Bad night (2271)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again

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  (419): Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again http://tfl.nu/9um4
  Replies (17) Good night (918) Bad night (2253)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!

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  (678): Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,! http://tfl.nu/t1zn
  Replies (4) Good night (1712) Bad night (720)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.

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  (605): Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction. http://tfl.nu/iqla
  Replies (4) Good night (1158) Bad night (1681)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad

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  (513): Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad http://tfl.nu/ehr3
  Replies (8) Good night (1131) Bad night (2263)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen

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  (412): with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen http://tfl.nu/zqf6
  Replies (6) Good night (1018) Bad night (568)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen

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  (610): Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen http://tfl.nu/wlxj
  Replies (5) Good night (1092) Bad night (461)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?

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  (814): Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months? http://tfl.nu/ebp4
  Replies (2) Good night (730) Bad night (343)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.

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  (270): His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina. http://tfl.nu/fw3t
  Replies (2) Good night (441) Bad night (781)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Atleast he is letting you know he will be late

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  (775): He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with (1-775): Atleast he is letting you know he will be late http://tfl.nu/exkh
  Replies (3) Good night (500) Bad night (598)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like

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  (203): Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like http://tfl.nu/xw18
  Replies (0) Good night (493) Bad night (362)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline

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  (508): Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline http://tfl.nu/jw4b
  Replies (1) Good night (421) Bad night (359)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW

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  (206): I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW http://tfl.nu/y303
  Replies (1) Good night (277) Bad night (206)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.

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  (734): I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman. http://tfl.nu/y92c
  Replies (3) Good night (155) Bad night (72)

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