trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!