using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
wow bdsm is so cute
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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