Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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