am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
