Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
