Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize