i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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