seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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