Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
