somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
