The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He has the fingertips of a God
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