How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
