I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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