Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
