you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
