Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i came on her dog
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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