Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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