She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
