I cannot find my penis.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize