why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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