Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
