I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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