I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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