This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
