went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
