I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
