I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
