Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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