I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
