obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
