Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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