is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
