You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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