Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
