I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
