the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
