Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I want a musical about memes.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
