Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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