so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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