we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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