You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
