Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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