I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
