the condom got lost in my hair
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
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Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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