Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
