Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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