Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(408): View more from California

I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.

Fav 13 916 3938
share tweet
(772): View more from Florida

Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks

Fav 4 3154 898
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag

(817): View more from Texas

could you get any more awkward?

Fav 8 1401 4741
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one

Fav 27 6546 1238
share tweet
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(250): View more from British Columbia

I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.

Fav 13 6039 1090
share tweet
(954): View more from Florida

tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?

(1-954): View more from Florida

Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.

Fav 72 11288 1821
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.

Fav 9 4769 1580
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(615): View more from Tennessee

World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.

Fav 3 709 444
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night

Fav 2 142 143
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT