Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened http://tfl.nu/eey2
  Replies (4) Good night (1019) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  You got in a fight last night?

  (818): View more from California

  Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

  (323): View more from California

  Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): You got in a fight last night? (818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since. (323): Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you? http://tfl.nu/hf09
  Replies (132) Good night (8804) Bad night (24370)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends. http://tfl.nu/34is
  Replies (28) Good night (645) Bad night (4016)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would be honored to be that friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people (617): I would be honored to be that friend. http://tfl.nu/ohrl
  Replies (22) Good night (6090) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms." http://tfl.nu/x5sd
  Replies (43) Good night (1579) Bad night (7890)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi. http://tfl.nu/x4zy
  Replies (43) Good night (1785) Bad night (4199)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with... http://tfl.nu/q2va
  Replies (23) Good night (6284) Bad night (1304)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits http://tfl.nu/a8f8
  Replies (15) Good night (5273) Bad night (1402)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?" http://tfl.nu/r7md
  Replies (12) Good night (3604) Bad night (1525)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  "Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): "Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW? http://tfl.nu/ng2t
  Replies (18) Good night (4124) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country. http://tfl.nu/04vq
  Replies (18) Good night (5902) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose. http://tfl.nu/5ocp
  Replies (2) Good night (1537) Bad night (2432)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/ogvx
  Replies (6) Good night (2444) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms. http://tfl.nu/hfjv
  Replies (0) Good night (880) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs. http://tfl.nu/sbu3
  Replies (1) Good night (419) Bad night (299)

Randomize