Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience

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(908): I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience http://tfl.nu/4oik

Replies (3) Good night (576) Bad night (1128)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

those are such fre$h shoes

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign

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(508): those are such fre$h shoes (1-508): going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign http://tfl.nu/bk8p

Replies (29) Good night (1297) Bad night (3662)
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(916): View more from California

I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule

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(916): I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule http://tfl.nu/z9ak

Replies (8) Good night (3928) Bad night (525)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.

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(678): I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head. http://tfl.nu/4u7e

Replies (44) Good night (7234) Bad night (1732)
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(904): View more from Florida

Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?

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(904): Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care? http://tfl.nu/9o7b

Replies (25) Good night (4677) Bad night (2469)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.

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(215): you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger. http://tfl.nu/jxnv

Replies (16) Good night (3442) Bad night (3757)
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(815): View more from Illinois

just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.

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(815): just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays. http://tfl.nu/2pfb

Replies (7) Good night (2327) Bad night (637)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.

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(815): Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/6hnz

Replies (12) Good night (3048) Bad night (686)
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(509): View more from Washington

Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.

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(509): Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away. http://tfl.nu/1jys

Replies (6) Good night (2196) Bad night (808)
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(425): View more from Washington

i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea

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(425): i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea http://tfl.nu/bucj

Replies (8) Good night (1406) Bad night (495)
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(650): View more from California

I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year

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(650): I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year http://tfl.nu/08f9

Replies (2) Good night (1088) Bad night (570)
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(516): View more from New York

You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito

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(516): You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito http://tfl.nu/vwoe

Replies (11) Good night (1635) Bad night (445)
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(845): View more from New York

I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.

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(845): I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog. http://tfl.nu/tom2

Replies (5) Good night (1867) Bad night (380)
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(513): View more from Ohio

It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.

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(513): It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world. http://tfl.nu/7ety

Replies (4) Good night (1266) Bad night (363)
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(705): View more from Ontario

I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager

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(705): I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager http://tfl.nu/uera

Replies (2) Good night (421) Bad night (372)

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