did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Sponge bath it is.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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