from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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