pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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