so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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