I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
