did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
