we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
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okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
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smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Bring me that man meat
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
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